Valentine’s Day is coming, and romance is in the air! However, this most romantic time of the year is challenging for people who are serious about changing their relationship with alcohol. 

Deciding to drink less alcohol often comes with unexpected challenges. Major holidays are one of them. You might have found that celebrations you once enjoyed have become white-knuckle rides you must endure. Valentine’s Day is no exception. With glamorous commercials telling us that fancy dinner and fine wine is the only way to create a memorable night, it’s no wonder you’re apprehensive about surviving your first dry Valentine’s Day.

However, an alcohol-free Valentine’s date is possible; it just takes some planning. But to be fair, what kind of memorable romantic date doesn’t require that?

Without further ado, I’d like to share 5 time-tested tips so that you, too, can have the amazing Valentine’s date you deserve.

1. Communicate ahead of time

Part of your planning must include communicating your wish to celebrate Valentine’s Day dry with your partner. Here are a few ways you can express your needs without having to discuss your relationship with alcohol: 

“I have a big meeting the next day.”

“I’m on a detox that requires me to not drink alcoholic beverages.”

“My memory can become fuzzy after a few drinks and I’d like to be able to remember every minute of our Valentine’s date.”

2. Plan ahead to avoid triggers

Triggers are cues that remind you of your old drinking behaviors. They could be places, images, people, certain topics, etc., that create a strong desire to drink. In the early days of changing one’s relationship with alcohol, learning to recognize and avoid triggers can come a long way. 

To set up your Valentine’s date for success, plan ahead to avoid triggers as much as possible. For example, having the date at your old regular drinking spot will probably make you want to order your favorite drink. Going for a fancy dinner where wine is likely served at every table won’t make your night out any easier. Even a movie that glamorizes drinking culture might give you an unwelcome hard time on this special Day.

So, plan ahead and avoid the obvious triggering places and things for a smooth date.

3. Have fun

Here’s the most important secret about limited alcohol consumption—it’s never about missing out on life. Instead, it’s about deliberately choosing to live life fully and experiencing everything it offers. That means a good dry Valentine’s date plan shouldn’t forget fun.

This is the time to take advantage of your sobriety, to take advantage of opportunities you used to avoid because of your drinking habit. When I was drinking, I used to say no to all sorts of invitations because they were incompatible with my drinking habit. I bet some of you did, too.

It could be that hiking trail you once skipped so you could drink an extra bottle of wine. It could be the board games you never had the brainpower to play under the influence of alcohol. Or it could be that a rock-climbing gym was too much to handle when you could hardly walk in a straight line on the ground.

The possibilities are endless, and thanks to your new sober lifestyle, you’re only limited by your imagination. So go wild, have fun, and live life. You have lived through all the possibilities that alcohol could offer you, and now it’s time to try out the millions of other fun and joyful things that life can offer you!

4. Don’t forget to reward yourself

At the end of the Day, it’s important to remember to reward yourself. I might have made this whole dry Valentine’s date thing sound easy, but successfully celebrating and enjoying a dry holiday is not an accomplishment to ignore. Pat yourself on the back and reward yourself for a job well done.

Know how I reward myself? I write a gratitude list! I know it sounds cheesy, but stay with me. This is not just any old gratitude list. This one is about what you appreciate most about this dry Valentine’s Day, the things you wouldn’t have experienced if you were drinking.

Feel free to borrow from my list if you need inspiration:

“The peace of knowing there would be no surprises or embarrassment waiting for me the next morning.”

“The pleasure of being fully present with my wonderful date during every minute of this special day.”

“The sober conversation, the true connection, and the authentic intimacy, none of which were clouded by “liquid poison”.”

The list can go on and on, and each of us will have our own list. So, take a moment and make your list. Let yourself marinate in your success and let the sweet taste of sobriety linger. You’ve earned it!

5. It’s okay to ask for help

Last but not least, it’s okay to ask for help.

If you find yourself struggling with more thoughts and cravings about alcohol; if you have doubts about how to plan a romantic date that supports your sobriety; or if you fear that you will not be able to endure Valentine’s Day without giving in, you are not alone. Early sobriety is tough, and help is available. 

Curious about changing your relationship with alcohol? Check out Sober Curiosity Lab, an online course to transform your relationship with alcohol with knowledge instead of willpower.