I felt like everyone was judging me.

It was Grandpa’s 75th birthday, and I was in charge of the cake.

“Be sure to double-check they got us the sugar-free one,” Grandma said to me on the phone.

“Sure, I will,” I said half-mindedly, rushing through my term paper before its deadline.

I was the last one to arrive at the party.

And as my grandma opened the cake box in front of everyone, my heart sank.

I didn’t check, and they got it wrong.

I felt people whispering around me.

How could I be so careless and ruin Grandpa’s party?

Luckily, I was able to run to the cake store next door to get a small piece of sugar-free cake for my diabetic grandpa, and everyone else enjoyed the wrong sugary cake.

A few relatives patted my shoulder and muttered later, “Everyone makes mistakes.”

But I judged myself hard for the rest of the week.

Being judged sucks, especially when it comes from yourself, especially when you feel like you have failed someone you really care about.

As a drinker who sometimes drinks too much, you may have been dealing with those feelings of being judged on a regular basis.

Perhaps from others around you.

Perhaps from yourself.

I want to give you the same gentle reminder that I would give my 23-year-old self who had messed up the cake.

“You may make mistakes, but your mistakes do NOT define who you are.”