Teaser
Worried about slipping? Learn how to turn setbacks into stepping stones for lasting sobriety.
On the fast lane? Read the summary
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A slip-up is not a relapse—it's a temporary setback that can strengthen your commitment to lasting sobriety.
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Understanding what led to a slip-up helps prevent future relapses and reinforces long-term recovery skills.
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Self-reflection, not self-blame, is key to learning from slip-ups and building resilience in your sobriety journey.
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Lasting sobriety isn’t about never falling—it’s about learning how to rise, recommit, and move forward with confidence.
If you're like most people I know who’ve decided to leave alcohol behind, you’d do just about anything to avoid slipping up.
Slip-ups have a bad reputation. We’re taught to equate them with failure, something to fear and avoid at all costs. After all, falling off the wagon is never a good feeling. I’ve been there more times than I can count, and I hated it too. Waking up the next morning with guilt, regret, and self-loathing—it’s a miserable cycle. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
But do slip-ups really have to be as devastating and harmful as we’ve been led to believe?
Slip-Up vs. Relapse: Understanding the Difference
A slip, also known as a lapse, occurs when a person briefly returns to drinking or using but stops quickly afterward. These incidents can be very short-lived and don’t necessarily undermine a person’s motivation to maintain sobriety. In fact, a slip often serves as an opportunity to reinforce someone’s commitment to their sober journey.
A slip-up differs from a relapse. A relapse means giving up on sobriety entirely and reverting to old habits. In contrast, a slip-up is a temporary setback—it's part of the learning process. In my own journey to sobriety, I've even come to see it as a growth opportunity.
Letting go of alcohol and choosing sobriety is similar to learning to ride a bike without training wheels. Like a little kid learning to ride, falling down is not failing; rather, it's an opportunity to learn and adjust, so one can improve and eventually master. We're learning to live life without the crutch of alcohol, and stumbling a few times is part of the process.
So the real question isn’t "Will I ever fall?" but, "How will I rise when I fall?"
In my journey of letting go and outgrowing alcohol, I learned a three-part response that not only prevents a slip from turning into a relapse but also transforms a slip-up into a learning opportunity. These steps are: Redefine, Reflect, and Recommit.
Embracing Mistakes -- The Art of Bouncing Back from Slip-ups
Slip-ups don’t erase progress—they are part of the learning curve. Just like learning to ride a bike, mastery isn't about never falling; it’s about getting back up each time. In sobriety, it’s crucial not to judge yourself harshly but to view each temporary setback as what it truly is—an opportunity to enhance your sobriety skills and resilience. You’re not failing—you’re learning.
Reflect: Unpacking Setbacks -- Turning Slip-Ups into Learning Opportunities
Beating ourselves up doesn’t help us get back up faster; asking the right questions does.
That’s why the second R stands for Reflect—to pause and gather insights. If you’re back to “Day 1,” remember, you made it to “Day 2” before. Don’t let a setback erase your progress. Focus on the number of days you were alcohol-free rather than the days you weren’t. Reflect on how you previously resisted the temptation to drink so you can replicate that success.
Next, analyze what didn’t work. Slips are rarely isolated events; they result from a series of stresses, events, and poor decisions that accumulate. Understanding the sequence that led to a slip provides clues on how to prevent future occurrences.
Finally, consider what you can change. Once you recognize how events unfolded, you can identify which elements to adjust for a different outcome. Which stressor can you manage more proactively next time? What decisions might you alter? Could any events have unfolded differently? There’s a wealth of insight in slips, and they are crucial for thriving in sobriety.
Recommit: Staying the Course -- Leveraging Setbacks for lasting sobriety
Setbacks and challenges are inherent parts of human existence, especially when trying to break an old habit. Change often triggers an inner conflict between the comfort of what's familiar in the short term and what you truly desire in the long term. This tension is known as ambivalence, where one part of you is drawn to growth while another part seeks comfort in what’s known.
Acknowledging this pull is the first step in navigating through it. Take a moment to connect with both the urge that tempts you back to drinking and the reasons that motivate you to keep moving forward despite this pull. Use this setback as an opportunity to refresh your intention and strengthen your commitment.
You’re here because life has called you to an adventure—to unlock your better self with...
- A renewed relationship with alcohol;
- Deepened insights and an upgraded toolkit;
- Positive habits that support personal growth;
- And a life guided by purpose and fulfillment.
But before a hero can claim their ultimate prize, they must first navigate trials and move through stages, including:
Rewriting the Sobriety Script: How to Effectively Respond to Slip-Ups
The greatest obstacle in our sobriety journey is often ourselves—our beliefs about who we are and what we're capable of achieving.
Many years ago, I learned a simple yet powerful formula from Jack Canfield: E (Event) + R (Response) = O (Outcome). While events are often out of our control, such as falling while learning to ride a bike—a natural part of life—our responses are within our control. The key difference lies in how we respond to challenges and setbacks. Will a slip-up lead to a full-blown relapse, or will it become a stepping stone to greater resilience and more robust sobriety?
Values
Value is the driving force behind our actions and choices and our inner compass toward a life of purpose and fulfillment.
With clarity and awareness, it gives us the motivation and strength to move fiercely towards our dream life even in the face of challenges and setbacks. Without clarity and awareness, it is the invisible force that directs our actions and choices.
Beliefs
Beliefs are what we think or feel is true. They are deeply held, underlying assumptions or convictions about oneself, others, and the world around us. Beliefs often feel absolute and it shapes our reality.
Beliefs are often an oversimplified version of reality and only partially true. However - they become our “ reality”, and shape our feelings, mold our desires, and guide our actions. Some beliefs are limiting. A limiting belief is a belief that holds you back and restricts you in certain ways.
Belief is one of the most crucial links in the sobriety system and plays a determinating role in helping us make effortless, long-lasting change, and turn sobriety into a 2nd nature,
Actions
Actions are behaviors and activities based on our values, predominant feelings, and desires.
In the most simplified version: Fear and pain often lead to avoidance, whereas joy and pleasure lead to approach.
Our actions then produce results that reinforce our existing beliefs. Belief, action, and result together create a feedback loop - a spiral of repetition and reinforcement.
Results
The last pillar is the result - the outcome of our actions.
Due to confirmation bias, we turn to interpret the outcome of our action in the frame of our existing beliefs, which creates a feedback loop where results and beliefs reinforce each other and lead to a repetition of similar actions, and then similar results.
The feedback loop can become the spiral that keeps old, outdated habits alive - I like to call it the addiction spiral. But by consciously upgrading our beliefs and actions, we can unlock a loop of growth and new empowerment habits.
Ready to stop fearing relapse and start embracing growth?
If you've experienced a slip or near-slip, celebrate—it's your opportunity for growth! Unlock my mini-course, the Growth Lab, where you will learn to embrace setbacks as stepping stones and transform slips from feared enemies into powerful allies. In this on-demand lab, you'll receive step-by-step coaching that will help you:
- Change your understanding of relapses or slips.
- Uncover patterns and adjust behaviors with practical tools.
- Recommit to your goals with renewed motivation and clarity through targeted exercises.
Say goodbye to fear and worry, and welcome every step of your journey as an essential part of your growth. Learn more about the Growth Lab here and take the first step toward empowering your recovery today.
Growth Lab
Growing Through Your “Slips” Lab || Monday, Feb 10th, 2025, 5 PM PT
$80.00 USD
Jeanette Hu
A former daily drinker turned psychotherapist and sober curiosity coach, Jeanette is obsessed with helping growth-minded individuals take a break from alcohol, cast aside the limiting beliefs that keep them stuck, and build new tools to let go of the crush of bottles.
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border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1701079728979 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1701079728979 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1701079728979 { text-align: left; } } #block-1701079728979 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1701079728979 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1701079728979 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1701079728979 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1701079740092 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1701079740092 .block { border: 4px dashed #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1701079740092 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1701079740092 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1701079740092 { text-align: left; } } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1738944019063 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944019063 .block { border: 4px dashed #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1738944019063 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944019063 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1738944019063 { text-align: left; } } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1738944012031 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944012031 .block { border: 4px dashed #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1738944012031 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944012031 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1738944012031 { text-align: left; } } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1739037715504 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739037715504 .block { border: 3px solid #ff65be; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1739037715504 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739037715504 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 25px; padding-right: 25px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-left: 25px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1739037715504 { text-align: center; } } #block-1739037715504 .form-btn { border-color: #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background: #feed00; color: #ff65be; } #block-1739037715504 .btn--outline { color: #feed00; background: transparent; } #block-1739037715504 .disclaimer-text { font-size: 16px; margin-top: 1.25rem; margin-bottom: 0; color: #888; } .parsley-errors-list {display: none;} #block-1694873394061 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1694873394061 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1694873394061 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1694873394061 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 25px; padding-right: 25px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-left: 25px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1694873394061 { text-align: left; } } #block-1577982541036_0 .btn { margin-top: 1rem; } #block-1739038566495 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739038566495 .block { border: 4px double #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1739038566495 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739038566495 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1739038566495 { text-align: left; } } #block-1696522456141 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1696522456141 .block { border: 1px solid #ECF0F1; border-radius: 10px; background-color: #feed00; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1696522456141 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1696522456141 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1696522456141 { text-align: center; } } #block-1696522456141 .feature__image, [data-slick-id="1696522456141"] .feature__image { width: 100px; border-radius: 100px; } .authorfeature { display: flex; align-items: flex-start; position: relative; } .authorfeature__image-container { flex-shrink: 0; margin-right: 20px; } .authorfeature__image { max-width: 150px; height: auto; } .authorfeature__content { flex-grow: 1; } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1696522456141 .authorfeature { flex-direction: column; align-items: center; } #block-1696522456141 .authorfeature__image-container { margin-right: 0; } } .awesomecontainer { background: #000000; h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ul, li, .block-type--table table {color: #ffffff;} padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 15px; } .awesomecontainer .row { -webkit-box-align: flex-start; -ms-flex-align: flex-start; align-items: flex-start; } .awesomecontainer .row .block-type--accordion { align-self: flex-start; }
