Teaser
Alcohol made me feel bold, magnetic, and irresistible—until it didn’t. Here’s what I wish I knew back then about its hidden impact on confidence, attraction, and self-image.
On the fast lane? Read the summary
- Alcohol lowers inhibitions but does not enhance confidence, attraction, or self-worth in a lasting way.
- Studies show alcohol disrupts hormones, dehydrates skin, and accelerates aging, impacting self-image over time.
- The media sells alcohol as a confidence booster, but real self-assurance comes from within—not a bottle.
- Rewriting alcohol beliefs can help you break free from cravings, redefine confidence, and prevent relapse.
There was a time when I believed a few cocktails were my secret weapon for feeling irresistible. After the third glass, as I savored each sip, a surge of confidence washed over me—I felt sexy, emboldened, and ready to conquer any room.
The thought of life without alcohol felt like a loss. Would I miss my confident, charming self? I dreaded the idea that, without my secret weapon, all I had left was my insecure self—uncomfortable in my own skin, moving awkwardly, hyper-aware of the extra pound on my inner thigh.
The Media’s Influence: How Alcohol Became a Confidence Symbol
If you've ever thought, Alcohol makes me feel sexier and more confident, you’re in great company. I once held that belief too.
But have you ever wondered how we came to see fermented grapefruit juice—containing the same ethanol found in gasoline—as a magical potion for unleashing our most irresistible, sexual selves?
We didn’t invent this belief out of thin air. Beliefs form through observation and experience. My impression of alcohol’s magic came long before my first drink. I remember being 14, watching Sex and the City, mesmerized as Carrie and her friends sipped champagne and wine over dinner. I dreamed of becoming an independent, confident woman like them. I pictured myself in delicate French lingerie, a glass of wine in hand, fully in charge in the bedroom.
And for years, it seemed I had arrived. I moved through bars and hotel rooms, feeling charming, magnetic—until, deep into my drinking career, an unfamiliar woman began staring back at me in the mirror. Dark circles under her eyes, a puffy face beneath last night’s smudged makeup, the scent of stale booze clinging to her like my drunk uncle at Christmas. The reflection no longer fit the image of attractiveness I once chased.
After I left alcohol behind, I started to question: How exactly does this dark red liquid enhance our charm? And what’s the real connection between alcohol, feeling sexy, and true attractiveness?
Alcohol’s Hidden Side Effects: From Testosterone Drops to Aging Skin
Some clear-headed thinking made one thing obvious—alcohol doesn’t work like makeup or Botox, enhancing our appearance on the surface. Nor does it grant us wit or intelligence we don’t already possess.
But a little digging uncovered something else. Alcohol actually reduces testosterone levels in both men and women. One study found that rats fed a steady diet of alcohol experienced a 50% decrease in testicle size. In humans, lower testosterone comes with a few decidedly unsexy side effects—breast enlargement, hair loss, weight gain, and disrupted sleep. Add in dehydration, which leads to bloodshot eyes, puffiness, bloating, and even premature aging, and suddenly, alcohol doesn’t seem so glamorous.
That temporary boost in confidence? It’s just an illusion. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and slows self-conscious thoughts thanks to its depressant effects. But in reality, we’re still the same as before—just a little more disheveled, a little less sharp, and with a few side effects that don’t exactly scream irresistible.
You’re here because life has called you to an adventure—to unlock your better self with...
- A renewed relationship with alcohol;
- Deepened insights and an upgraded toolkit;
- Positive habits that support personal growth;
- And a life guided by purpose and fulfillment.
But before a hero can claim their ultimate prize, they must first navigate trials and move through stages, including:
Letting Go of Alcohol’s False Promises: Rewrite Your Belief
Today, as a sobriety coach, I work with men and women who want to take a break from alcohol or leave it behind for good. Many have tried willpower and white-knuckling, only to find themselves still feeling deprived, as if they’re missing out. That’s because most mainstream methods focus on drinking less, rather than addressing the deeper beliefs that drive the desire to drink in the first place.
But modifying alcohol consumption is only one piece of the puzzle. Real, lasting change happens when we address all four pillars of what I call the Sobriety System—a framework designed to reshape not just habits but the beliefs that fuel them.
Beliefs are the invisible force behind our actions, shaping our thoughts, influencing our feelings, and driving our behaviors. Take the belief “Alcohol makes me feel sexier and more confident.” That belief fuels the desire for a drink. If we act on it, we strengthen the connection between alcohol and confidence. If we resist, we may feel deprived—because the underlying belief remains unchallenged. Either way, the belief continues to hold power.
Values
Value is the driving force behind our actions and choices and our inner compass toward a life of purpose and fulfillment.
With clarity and awareness, it gives us the motivation and strength to move fiercely towards our dream life even in the face of challenges and setbacks. Without clarity and awareness, it is the invisible force that directs our actions and choices.
Beliefs
Beliefs are what we think or feel is true. They are deeply held, underlying assumptions or convictions about oneself, others, and the world around us. Beliefs often feel absolute and it shapes our reality.
Beliefs are often an oversimplified version of reality and only partially true. However - they become our “ reality”, and shape our feelings, mold our desires, and guide our actions. Some beliefs are limiting. A limiting belief is a belief that holds you back and restricts you in certain ways.
Belief is one of the most crucial links in the sobriety system and plays a determinating role in helping us make effortless, long-lasting change, and turn sobriety into a 2nd nature,
Actions
Actions are behaviors and activities based on our values, predominant feelings, and desires.
In the most simplified version: Fear and pain often lead to avoidance, whereas joy and pleasure lead to approach.
Our actions then produce results that reinforce our existing beliefs. Belief, action, and result together create a feedback loop - a spiral of repetition and reinforcement.
Results
The last pillar is the result - the outcome of our actions.
Due to confirmation bias, we turn to interpret the outcome of our action in the frame of our existing beliefs, which creates a feedback loop where results and beliefs reinforce each other and lead to a repetition of similar actions, and then similar results.
The feedback loop can become the spiral that keeps old, outdated habits alive - I like to call it the addiction spiral. But by consciously upgrading our beliefs and actions, we can unlock a loop of growth and new empowerment habits.
Ready to break free and embrace an alcohol-free life?
To truly break free, it’s essential to bring these beliefs to light, examine where they come from, and rewrite them in a way that supports real confidence, rather than false promises. Learn more about my structured approach—the 3-Step Rewrite Guide—which helps replace outdated beliefs with ones that support who we are becoming, rather than keeping us stuck in who we used to be.
Alcohol, Sex, and Intimacy
The Passion Myth: Reclaiming Authentic Intimacy Without Alcohol || On-Demand with Instant Access
$40.00 USD
Jeanette Hu
A former daily drinker turned psychotherapist and sober curiosity coach, Jeanette is obsessed with helping growth-minded individuals take a break from alcohol, cast aside the limiting beliefs that keep them stuck, and build new tools to let go of the crush of bottles.
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padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1701079740092 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1701079740092 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1701079740092 { text-align: left; } } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1701079740092 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1738944019063 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944019063 .block { border: 4px dashed #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1738944019063 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944019063 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1738944019063 { text-align: left; } } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1738944019063 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1738944012031 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944012031 .block { border: 4px dashed #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 20px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1738944012031 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1738944012031 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; padding-left: 30px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1738944012031 { text-align: left; } } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title h5 { margin: 0; cursor: pointer; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-body { padding-top: 24px; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title.collapsed:after { content: "\f067"; margin-left: 24px; } #block-1738944012031 .accordion-title:after { content: "\f068"; margin-left: 24px; color: #ff65be; } #block-1739037715504 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739037715504 .block { border: 3px solid #ff65be; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1739037715504 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739037715504 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 25px; padding-right: 25px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-left: 25px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1739037715504 { text-align: center; } } #block-1739037715504 .form-btn { border-color: #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background: #feed00; color: #ff65be; } #block-1739037715504 .btn--outline { color: #feed00; background: transparent; } #block-1739037715504 .disclaimer-text { font-size: 16px; margin-top: 1.25rem; margin-bottom: 0; color: #888; } .parsley-errors-list {display: none;} #block-1694873394061 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1694873394061 .block { border: 4px black; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1694873394061 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1694873394061 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 25px; padding-right: 25px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-left: 25px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1694873394061 { text-align: left; } } #block-1577982541036_0 .btn { margin-top: 1rem; } #block-1739038566495 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739038566495 .block { border: 4px double #feed00; border-radius: 4px; background-color: #000000; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1739038566495 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1739038566495 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1739038566495 { text-align: left; } } #block-1696522456141 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1696522456141 .block { border: 1px solid #ECF0F1; border-radius: 10px; background-color: #feed00; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } @media (min-width: 768px) { #block-1696522456141 { margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; } #block-1696522456141 .block { padding: 0px; padding: 0px; padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 15px; } } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1696522456141 { text-align: center; } } #block-1696522456141 .feature__image, [data-slick-id="1696522456141"] .feature__image { width: 100px; border-radius: 100px; } .authorfeature { display: flex; align-items: flex-start; position: relative; } .authorfeature__image-container { flex-shrink: 0; margin-right: 20px; } .authorfeature__image { max-width: 150px; height: auto; } .authorfeature__content { flex-grow: 1; } @media (max-width: 767px) { #block-1696522456141 .authorfeature { flex-direction: column; align-items: center; } #block-1696522456141 .authorfeature__image-container { margin-right: 0; } } .awesomecontainer { background: #000000; h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, p, ul, li, .block-type--table table {color: #ffffff;} padding-top: 15px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 15px; } .awesomecontainer .row { -webkit-box-align: flex-start; -ms-flex-align: flex-start; align-items: flex-start; } .awesomecontainer .row .block-type--accordion { align-self: flex-start; }